There is no way to summarize the past year in a few pictures but here are a few as or late.
It has now officially been one year since I began my journey to Namibia last summer. Keeping a written record of my heart, mind, and soul after returning home from a trip that drastically changed my future is something I wish I could go back and change but instead I abruptly ended my documentation without any warning, what was I thinking? Honestly, I have stared at a blank document wondering where to begin this post for quite some time now (months even). To sum up the work the Lord did and is still doing in me in one post is somewhat overwhelming. I desperately want to adequately portray the greatness of my God and that is something words simply cannot contain. I am going to try my best to break it down into two (maybe more) sections. My girls, my future (HA!).
Here goes nothing...
MY GIRLS:
The Sunday night before I left to return home, my girls was acting..well.. let's say suspicious. Whispering, running around, not making eye contact with me, till finally they all left for church an hour early and did not invite me to go with them. Did they really hate me all this time? They sure did a great job of hiding it if they did. During the middle of the service the girls left their seats and went to the front of the church and began to read a letter they wrote for me about our time together. Let's just say the tears were flowing..steadily. The letter went like this:
Dear Morgan, I just want to say thank you very much for staying here with us and for being an example to me. I hope you enjoyed staying here because I sure did. I got to learn so many things from you. I will always keep and treasure these special moments. May God bless you and be with you always that you keep on fishing for our brothers and sisters that are lost in the world. You were and you always will be my motivation. I will miss you a lot. Saying goodbye is really really difficult but then I am not sad at all because I know that we will meet and spend eternity together in Heaven. With lots of love, Punny
How great is our God? I mean, really? Instilling the desire to reproduce in a group of 11 teenage girls. God always had a way of using 11 ordinary followers to radically transform the world with the gospel.
They then began to sing a song that had well, became our theme song for the summer, "What A Friend We Have In Jesus". God knew I needed that more than ever right then, I needed the comforting reminder that their ultimate friend is found in Jesus, not in me. Not that I am always the greatest friend, believe me I fall short, far short, daily, but the Lord had given me the responsibility to actively encourage and challenge the girls to be in the Word, on their knees in prayer, and surrounded by a small body of believers that had Christ's glory in mind. My greatest fear was that when I left, the girls would become neglected and no longer desire those things to be at the forefront of their lives. (How sinful is that to think...like it was ever MY doing in the first place). In that moment, the Lord so graciously provided great peace in the reality that HE alone is the greatest friend, companion, and role model. Just because my physical presence was not there anymore, His omnipresence had not failed.
They then began to sing a song that had well, became our theme song for the summer, "What A Friend We Have In Jesus". God knew I needed that more than ever right then, I needed the comforting reminder that their ultimate friend is found in Jesus, not in me. Not that I am always the greatest friend, believe me I fall short, far short, daily, but the Lord had given me the responsibility to actively encourage and challenge the girls to be in the Word, on their knees in prayer, and surrounded by a small body of believers that had Christ's glory in mind. My greatest fear was that when I left, the girls would become neglected and no longer desire those things to be at the forefront of their lives. (How sinful is that to think...like it was ever MY doing in the first place). In that moment, the Lord so graciously provided great peace in the reality that HE alone is the greatest friend, companion, and role model. Just because my physical presence was not there anymore, His omnipresence had not failed.
I can vividly remember my last night on the compound, truthfully, there is a knot in my throat thinking about it. It had already gotten dark so with solar lantern in hand, I began the walk from my house to theirs for our final night sitting around a plastic table and chairs sharing about our day and studying about the only God that truly saves. I desperately wanted to convince them that though I may never see them again in this life, I was without a doubt not abandoning them. How do you explain that to a group of girls where abandonment is all they have ever known? It still baffles me that I got out of that house without shedding a single tear, God so graciously provided strength when I felt like life's circumstances had me defeated. Just as God had reminded me through his Word that just because I leave does not mean my job is over, I left the girl with the same challenge. They had a mission, the greatest mission, to go and be fishers of men. After I long while in prayer, the girls presented me with letters they had written for my flight home, we said our goodbyes and I made my way to the door. While I was on the porch, I heard crying for the side of the house. I looked and there was my closest friend and fellow Christ follower, Punny, sitting down with her head between her knees. I sat beside her and prayed that the Lord would give her strength to be an influencer for Christ, every girl in the house looked up to her as their role model and she had an awesome task of continuing to disciple them. I was passing her the torch. She explained that she had never felt closer to Christ than she had over the summer, that she did not know how life would go on without me around, that she desperately wished I was continuing to walk beside them and encourage them. My heart was tangibly heavy. I told her that she had the Holy Spirit and He is far far greater of a friend than I would or could ever be. He would never leave her or forsake her. And that was goodbye...
As soon as I sat down on my first plane, I began to read the letters the girls had written for me. They were all full of gratitude and affirmation, I was extremely overwhelmed. One letter, however, stood out. It was the point of my trip, my ultimate desire, and it read as follows:
One seed. One soul. That made all the efforts of this trip worth it. If not a single thing on my trip went 'right' but Jesus brought one soul from death to life, my going was not in vain. Thank you, Lord, for drawing these girls to yourself.
I could go on and on about the girls and all that the Lord did (spiritually, emotionally, and even physically) in and through my girls over the summer but the final instance that comes to mind in remembering the greatness of our God in the lives of the girls I taught in Africa was an event that happened months after my return one, on my birthday actually.
My mom challenged me in my last few weeks there to make it my goal to have a one on one conversation with all the girls about their eternity and if they had truly submitted their Lordship to God. During conversation with both Rally and Punny, they were confident that they believed in Christ and repented of their sins but were unsure of the next steps of obedience. I walked them through what God's Word says about baptism and what that looked like in the life of a believer. They were both pretty nervous about baptism and we spent a lot of time discussing the possibility over the next weeks. A few months later, I got a phone call saying that earlier that day both Rally and Punny were baptized in the pool on the compound, ON MY BIRTHDAY. People always ask the question of what was the greatest gift you have ever received (okay, maybe that is just in Teenpact but whatever) and that by far steals the cake every time.
Since then I have prayed earnestly for their salvation and sanctification. I pray that we will one day meet again, in perfect peace, joined together praising our Savior face to face.
MY FUTURE:
My trip overseas truly was life-altering. I discovered a lot, grew a lot, changed a lot. Did I return home with some complete revelation of the next 50 years of my life and now feel confident because I know what God's plan is for my life? By no means! However, I am confident God used this trip to renew His calling in my life to spend an extended period of time overseas, at the time I did not know if it would be after high school, after college, or when I am 60. Regardless of the details, that I do not need to know anyways because I would only try and change them, I felt strongly that the Lord was (and still is) preparing my heart for where and when He will send me. I often get asked if I feel called to a specific area or people group and I always answer yes, I am most definitely called to the people of the earth. Geographically speaking though, I have no idea. Another frequently asked question is if I know a specific area of ministry I want to work with overseas and to that I reply, any and all. Call me naive but I think this might be the best place to be, not allowing my preconceived notions of where and what I should be doing to cloud my vision and keep me from going anywhere and doing anything. During my time in Africa, however, I do feel like the Lord has begun to prepare my heart to work with teenage/young adult women in some way or another. My heart is burdened for young women dealing with abuse, neglect, depression, and lack of self-worth (just to name a few). THAT is why I am headed to Auburn University in the fall to study Social Work. I do not know specifically how it will all play out but I do know that I desperately want to be used to defend those that cannot defend themselves and I will work tirelessly towards that goal.
To say that everything has been rainbows and butterflies since I returned home would be a complete and utter lie. God has done such a work in my life over the past year and that has definitely brought trying times. Chiseling away sin in my life and molding me more into His image is never an easy process. I fall short daily. I do not have it all figured out. At my current stage of life, I am having to make a lot of decisions that affect the rest of my life, decisions I honestly wish I did not have to make. I have wrestled (and still do) with whether or not to go overseas now or to go to school first. I'll be honest, I always thought I would do something different, something out of the ordinary but instead I am attending one of the two schools that every other student in the state of Alabama attends and the same school that the past three generation of my family has attended. Now, that's original alright. For months I viewed attending school at Auburn to be a duty, something I was going to do out of obedience to the Father because He is God and I am not. It has only been in the last month that God has taught be that being obedient to the task the Lord has set before me is not only my duty but my greatest joy. I truly believe God calls His followers to the hard places and for me, Auburn University is the hard place. I would easily make the decisions to go overseas but deciding to go to Auburn and finding joy in that is, well, somewhat intimidating. Sharing my faith with teenage girls overseas can be nerve racking but sharing my faith with the girl riding the transit next to me is overwhelmingly frightening. My brother has been a huge encouragement through it all, He has helped me see the value of preparation and how much more I have to learn. He has also been a voice of reason when I stress the fact that people are dying all around the world without Christ and I am sitting back about to attending college for the next 4+ years of my life. He so graciously reminds me that God is not sitting back twiddling his fingers saying, 'If Morgan would have only gone overseas rather than attended college than these people would not be going to hell.' God does not need me, He is saving people with or without me but let's make one thing certain, I want it to be with me so I will press on towards the goal of bring Him the most glory and right now, that means at Auburn University.
My God is great and greatly to be praised. My soul longs to be with Him forever but at the present time, the task is not yet complete, my mission is not over, and He has not yet returned so I will persevere in Christ, who reigns eternally.
As soon as I sat down on my first plane, I began to read the letters the girls had written for me. They were all full of gratitude and affirmation, I was extremely overwhelmed. One letter, however, stood out. It was the point of my trip, my ultimate desire, and it read as follows:
Dear Miss Morgan, Thank you Miss for sharing the good news from our One and Only. Second, thank you that when you sharing with me that news, I feel saved and I received the Holy Spirit. I will keep the Holy Spirit within me forever and ever for my own good so that I can be in a saved place with joy, love, and peaceful when my God is coming to take me from earth. I know I will be like you or let me just say I am like you right now, and I will also go into the world and preach the good news to others. Thank you very much I got to know who my Savior is and I am saved. I feel proud and I will never ever forget your name as well as I will never ever forget my Savior. I love you, Aynah.
One seed. One soul. That made all the efforts of this trip worth it. If not a single thing on my trip went 'right' but Jesus brought one soul from death to life, my going was not in vain. Thank you, Lord, for drawing these girls to yourself.
I could go on and on about the girls and all that the Lord did (spiritually, emotionally, and even physically) in and through my girls over the summer but the final instance that comes to mind in remembering the greatness of our God in the lives of the girls I taught in Africa was an event that happened months after my return one, on my birthday actually.
My mom challenged me in my last few weeks there to make it my goal to have a one on one conversation with all the girls about their eternity and if they had truly submitted their Lordship to God. During conversation with both Rally and Punny, they were confident that they believed in Christ and repented of their sins but were unsure of the next steps of obedience. I walked them through what God's Word says about baptism and what that looked like in the life of a believer. They were both pretty nervous about baptism and we spent a lot of time discussing the possibility over the next weeks. A few months later, I got a phone call saying that earlier that day both Rally and Punny were baptized in the pool on the compound, ON MY BIRTHDAY. People always ask the question of what was the greatest gift you have ever received (okay, maybe that is just in Teenpact but whatever) and that by far steals the cake every time.
Since then I have prayed earnestly for their salvation and sanctification. I pray that we will one day meet again, in perfect peace, joined together praising our Savior face to face.
MY FUTURE:
My trip overseas truly was life-altering. I discovered a lot, grew a lot, changed a lot. Did I return home with some complete revelation of the next 50 years of my life and now feel confident because I know what God's plan is for my life? By no means! However, I am confident God used this trip to renew His calling in my life to spend an extended period of time overseas, at the time I did not know if it would be after high school, after college, or when I am 60. Regardless of the details, that I do not need to know anyways because I would only try and change them, I felt strongly that the Lord was (and still is) preparing my heart for where and when He will send me. I often get asked if I feel called to a specific area or people group and I always answer yes, I am most definitely called to the people of the earth. Geographically speaking though, I have no idea. Another frequently asked question is if I know a specific area of ministry I want to work with overseas and to that I reply, any and all. Call me naive but I think this might be the best place to be, not allowing my preconceived notions of where and what I should be doing to cloud my vision and keep me from going anywhere and doing anything. During my time in Africa, however, I do feel like the Lord has begun to prepare my heart to work with teenage/young adult women in some way or another. My heart is burdened for young women dealing with abuse, neglect, depression, and lack of self-worth (just to name a few). THAT is why I am headed to Auburn University in the fall to study Social Work. I do not know specifically how it will all play out but I do know that I desperately want to be used to defend those that cannot defend themselves and I will work tirelessly towards that goal.
To say that everything has been rainbows and butterflies since I returned home would be a complete and utter lie. God has done such a work in my life over the past year and that has definitely brought trying times. Chiseling away sin in my life and molding me more into His image is never an easy process. I fall short daily. I do not have it all figured out. At my current stage of life, I am having to make a lot of decisions that affect the rest of my life, decisions I honestly wish I did not have to make. I have wrestled (and still do) with whether or not to go overseas now or to go to school first. I'll be honest, I always thought I would do something different, something out of the ordinary but instead I am attending one of the two schools that every other student in the state of Alabama attends and the same school that the past three generation of my family has attended. Now, that's original alright. For months I viewed attending school at Auburn to be a duty, something I was going to do out of obedience to the Father because He is God and I am not. It has only been in the last month that God has taught be that being obedient to the task the Lord has set before me is not only my duty but my greatest joy. I truly believe God calls His followers to the hard places and for me, Auburn University is the hard place. I would easily make the decisions to go overseas but deciding to go to Auburn and finding joy in that is, well, somewhat intimidating. Sharing my faith with teenage girls overseas can be nerve racking but sharing my faith with the girl riding the transit next to me is overwhelmingly frightening. My brother has been a huge encouragement through it all, He has helped me see the value of preparation and how much more I have to learn. He has also been a voice of reason when I stress the fact that people are dying all around the world without Christ and I am sitting back about to attending college for the next 4+ years of my life. He so graciously reminds me that God is not sitting back twiddling his fingers saying, 'If Morgan would have only gone overseas rather than attended college than these people would not be going to hell.' God does not need me, He is saving people with or without me but let's make one thing certain, I want it to be with me so I will press on towards the goal of bring Him the most glory and right now, that means at Auburn University.
My God is great and greatly to be praised. My soul longs to be with Him forever but at the present time, the task is not yet complete, my mission is not over, and He has not yet returned so I will persevere in Christ, who reigns eternally.
